Essentially, as far as I can see, when you reach your early twenties, specifically post graduation, the generation splits into two broad groups. There are those that have their shit together (Group 1), and those that definitely do not (Group 2). I'm clearly in the latter. And most people I know, are in the latter. But what I've learnt is, those in the latter, tend to have a LOT more fun. In my eyes anyway. So I thought I'd compile a handy little guide as to how these two groups differ, and how I fit into this, and then maybe you can see how you can fit into this and we can all bond about being messes together. Unless you've got your shit sorted, in which case, you're probably too busy window shopping for mortgages or buying kale.
JOB
I feel like having a stable career is one of the key signs of having your shit together. Those in Group 1 tend to know exactly what they want to do, have a 5/10/30 year plan and know exactly where they will go and how they will get there. They talk about their career goals, their key skills, they're always the first ones to chime in with lame career and interview advice, which you never take because that's a lot of effort - story of my life. The rest of us, realise we're only 21 and don't worry about careers and jobs as that's far off. Hashtag not really. Those of us lucky enough to be in group 2 like to have panic breakdowns when we realise our part time job stacking shelves or waiting on tables will never help us to achieve our dreams of running social media campaigns or being a top psychologist or owning a restaurant. Actually it may help the last one. The amount of times I've complained about my lack of career is unbelievable because it's been a depressing journey since graduation. I came straight onto the dole after graduation, and found it to be a disheartening and depressing experience. I was applying to everything and everywhere and getting nowhere, and each week was becoming less like myself, less happy and less positive. So I took a big step and came straight off the dole, with no thought about how I'd cope without the weekly money. Turns out I had to miss a few nights out, but on the upside, I returned to my former self and became that happy, positive and extremely sassy person we all know and cope with. I eventually gained a job as a customer assistant, and whilst this isn't my dream job, and I complain about it 50000 times a week, it's character building. Probably. And i know there are thousands and thousands of people in my position. But what I've learnt is to not give up. I've been rejected from hundreds of jobs and internships, but if I had given up I would never have got anywhere, or had any of the placements I've had in the past. And this is where I feel we differ majorly from Group 1. Those in group 2 have, on a whole, had to learn not to give up, had to learn how to keep going through the worst times, and had to learn that having a career at 21 isn't everything.
MONEY
This one is closely related to the above. People who have their shit together also have their finances together and therefore money is less of a worry. Apart from their early mortgage payments, and the fact that they've already started to pay back their student loan, and they've got to remember their monthly subscription to the National Cheese Society. For the rest of us, money is a constant struggle. But it is for absolutely everyone. I don't know a single person who doesn't worry about money. Actually I do but they've got savings. There's a small pocket of our generation who have secret savings. They were sensible, they saved birthday/Christmas/loan money or had a dead relative (i mean that in a nice way) so they've got money away for a rainy day. Whereas for me, savings is a myth. The concept of not spending what little money I have on alcohol, checked shirts and train tickets to have hazy nights out in Manchester is a completely lost concept on me. I'm not recommending this lifestyle at all. But it is very very very fun. Money is definitely an area of improvement for me. But maybe when I'm 22. Or at least 23. Or 24. I'm young, I don't really have any responsibilities (my parents may disagree) but I should spend my money on fun things like wine or adventures or really gay clothes.
LOVE
Again, this is a big generalisation. A lot of people who have their shit together are in close stable relationships, or engaged, or married. I don't have anything against this. Some of my closest friends are in stable relationships, or engaged or married. And I genuinely think it's adorable, beautiful even and I'm really happy for them. But for me personally, the prospect of me being engaged in my current immature state is too much for me to bear. We're in a remarkably digital age with relationships. Some couples feel it's their need to update us of every single moment of their relationship. And for them, on behalf of everyone, I beg you to stop. One couple selfie is alright. A whole album of you and your one/bae/sweetheart. Kill us all now. For single people, it all consists of being Facebook official, swiping the right way on Tinder and stalking them on every single social media page they've ever owned. I'm not complaining, I love liking a good relationship change on Facebook, I've happily swiped left and right on Tinder, and I'd be a liar if I said I'd never stalked anyone online - everyone does it. My love life is like my career in local politics - it's non existent. And I couldn't be less bothered. I came out just over 2 years ago which made things a lot more eventful, and being a camp gay man trapped in a lesbian's body doesn't make things the easiest. It's an adventure. I've got friends who wouldn't dream of getting off with a randomer in a club, and I've got others who are clearly loving that single life. I'd say I'm a happy in between. I'm really happy being single, as I do tend to be a bit too drunk in front of girls I like, but at the same time, when the right person comes along, who actually likes me back for a change then it will be splendid, and we would be the sassiest couple in history. That could be tomorrow, or that could be in 2023, who knows or cares. But for now, I'll just carry on moaning hungover to my best friend about not getting texts back of whoever I like, making a fool of myself in front of them or something equally as dire and pathetic! And then I'll do it all over again the next week.
SOCIAL
I love to get drunk. I love to go out, and dance like an idiot/camp man on acid, and drink the house/bar/club out of cheap wine and vodka. And I think this is a normal thing to do for a 21 year old. In the past, some classic Group 1's have suggested that maybe I should mature, and stay in and read books or something. But I can't make fabulous smoking area friends in my own living room on a Saturday night, I have to go and harass them in a public area where they normally can't escape instead. A lot of people who have their shit together generally frown on getting drunk every week, sometimes more than once. Never mention a two nighter to them, they might die of shock. They prefer to watch Breaking Bad over and over and over again with their bae, whilst eating a small pizza between them and sharing half a Kopparberg. No. I'm a bit of an alcohol nazi. If you drink wkd or smirnoff ice or think a Strongbow is of high percentage then I probably can't deal with you. Come back to me with your wine, your vodka, your cheap tequila and sambuca, and then we can talk. Thankfully most of my friends are in agreement. Otherwise my only friend would be Pinot Grigio.
I would write more, but quite honestly, I'm tired and have work in 8 hours and want to sleep.
I hope you've enjoyed my first blog in 5000 years and it hasn't offended anyone. It's a big generalisation and I can categorically say, I don't know a single person who fully has their shit together and is boring. That's a compliment. I think.
Stay Sassy xoxo
