Oscars 2015 Fashion - My Vague Take On It!

On Sunday night it was the Oscars. A time when all of Hollywood's most attractive, talented and a few people who you wonder quite how they got an invite, go and watch a really long awards show waiting to see what famous person will cry first. As a media graduate, I should probably do a blog all about the films and the cinematography and the acting, but I've never been one to be predictable. Plus I'm not planning on paying to go the cinema to watch all of them. And unless the Hannah Montana movie is nominated - I ain't interested. Another reason why the Oscars are so big is the fashion. People get really excited by what dress someone will wear and then tweet about it constantly for the following days. I wish someone did that about my new checked shirt. I'm clearly not a fashion blogger. I know more about how to make jam than I do about fashion. And I can assure you that there's more chance of me never drinking again than making jam successfully. I couldn't even write a paragraph about what I know about fashion. But why should I let that stop me. So I've decided to rate some of the best and worst outfits from the night. Essentially I've just been on sites like Entertainment Weekly, E! and Glamour, robbed their choices and offered my own second rate opinion, going off topic as usual. Plus it means I'm not delving into my personal life and drunken experiences for once. 

These are in no particular order, because, effort. 

1) Emma Stone

6/10
I adore Emma Stone. She seems hilarious, lovely and like she would be amazing on a night out. She can act, sing and dance. I feel like she's me if I had any actual talent. I like every film she's in that I've seen, especially Easy A. No one ever appreciated Natasha Bedingfield enough until that film came about. And if you get that reference then we should be best mates, or at least mild acquaintances. This outfit has topped loads of best dressed lists so apparently it's dead nice. I'm not so much of a fan, only because the colour reminds me of a dodgy lemon. But Emma Stone could make anything look good, even the darkest of my wardrobe disasters, so clearly she still looks flawless. 

2) Keira Knightley

3/10
Oh Keira, no. No. No. It looks like she's took a wrong turn into a thorny bush and then a rogue child who scribbled a few words onto it. I kid you not, I'm pretty sure I technically helped design this dress on a school trip where we had to make a dress out of nothing so we just stuck leaves and magazine cuttings to a bin bag. And that looked nicer. But bless her, she does have a nice face, and she was in Bend It Like Beckham which is one of my all time favourite films. She should have got an Oscar for that one, such a hit. 

3) Solange Knowles

2/10

Clearly being Beyonce's sister doesn't always have perks. When she's not attacking Jay Z in a lift (I hear you sister, I've nearly hit my sister's boyfriends' too, a gal's got to do what a gal's got to do), she's clearly wearing a red bedsheet fashioned into some sort of garment. Bless her though, at least she got to go the Oscars, most overshadowed sisters don't even get to go the pub. Just ask my sister. 

4) Jennifer Aniston

9/10
Jennifer Jennifer Jennifer. She can do no wrong. I don't know much about fashion but I know she looks incredible. How a woman can not change her hair in decades yet still look like she's got a new effortless haircut in every photo is a skill I can only dream of. If I woke up tomorrow looking exactly like Jennifer Aniston then I would never complain about having a spot or running out of dry shampoo again. Plus there's nothing more I love than a famous person clearly being hilarious, and Jen-An clearly is a sassy, hilarious wine drinker. I can sense them from miles away. 

5) Lady Gaga

1/10
Lady Gaga apparently stopped off at the Oscars on the way to do her dishes. Clearly. She's wearing rubber gloves. Red ones. Yes, her Sound of Music performance (YouTube it) was flawless, but she's still wearing massive red gloves. That's all. 

6) Felicity Jones

5/10
I've only included Felicity Jones on this post so I can talk about what a fantastic film Chalet Girl is. And how underrated it is. It's a travesty she hasn't been nominated for her role in that masterpiece. I'm not even joking. She plays a chalet girl turned snowboarder and falls in love and lives happily ever after (spoiler alert). It almost made me want to go skiing. But then I remembered who I actually was and how I'm meant to be on solid ground and not on two planks of wood flying down a slippy hill. Plus I would never cope with stairlifts. Plus I lived my schooldays hating anyone who went skiing as we would have to hear their skiing stories for months on end. Years on end. I'm still told the stories now. Unless you're already my friend, I couldn't knowingly befriend a skier. Never. I adore it when people on Tinder have skiing photos on their profile, because it saves the effort of even bothering to contemplate swiping right. But watch Chalet Girl - you probably won't regret it. 

7) Tegan & Sara

7/10
I couldn't do a fashion list without delving into the shirt-y world of lesbian fashion. If you don't know who Tegan & Sara are then you're missing out. They're twins AND lesbians, it's like I'm looking at myself. Let's focus on Tegan - the suave one in pants. Suave blazer. Suave shirt. Suave pants. Suave shoes. All round suave. If it was me, I'd add a bit of colour, check and bow ties to the mix but I'll let her off. She looks effortlessly cool, as if she always has a text to reply to off a different person but doesn't care if they text back today or in 5 months time. 

8) Meryl Streep

8/10
All hail the Queen. Yes, she looks like she's off to a glamorous business meeting but that's basically exactly what the Oscars is. All hail Meryl. That's all.

9) Eddie Redmayne

10/10
I chose Eddie Redmayne purely for this adorable photo. And any tuxedo that is blue is more than ok with me. I want this tuxedo.

10) David Oyelowo

10/10
This is my favourite look of the entire Oscars night. Simply because it's not a dress, and it's colourful. I feel like it would be better in blue as she clashes with the carpet. If he lay on the floor with his hands and head covered you wouldn't notices him. But that's ok. However I would want it in blue. Although I am bordering on the decision that me wearing a tuxedo in any situation is TOO gay. WWCBD? What Would Clare Balding Do?

Anyway, if you've made it to the bitter end, thank you so much. Let me know what you thought of this new type of blog post in the comments or via one of my new social media pages: Facebook or Twitter

And if you even just mildly enjoyed it, then please share it on your own social medias and I'll love you forever!

Stay Sassy xo

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6 Things I Probably/Won't Bother Giving Up For Lent

So Lent began today, and apparently that's a time when people give up something they love for 40 days for a religious reason. It sounds like a longer dry January to me. Both pointless and torturous. I'm not really a religious person - the whole anti gay thing kind of kills my vibe. I don't fully understand it all, and at this point in my life I don't have the curiosity to explore it more. I do know that I can't get married in most churches as it currently stands, and that's more than enough information I need to not follow that side of things. But some of my close friends are religious, my mum is, and I'm sure I watched at least one episode of the Kardashians where they talked about God, so I'm all for you religious gals. I'm never committed to a belief for even a year, let alone a lifetime. In the season of this time, I thought I'd go through a list of things I may give up today, and then we can see if any of them are suitable. But there's a high chance I've already done most of these things today. Let's do this. 

It's worth mentioning that when I suggested doing this blog topic and what I could give up, my mum instantly said "Sex would be an easy one", proving just how successful my love life is going and just how essential it is I move out so I can avoid all of these type of conversations in my life. I should set up a Just Giving page so you can all donate to pay my rent. Good plan? Yes. 

1) Tinder
I could probably do a full stand up set about my Tinder/Plenty of Fish disasters. And then some more. They're that disastrous. And that's just the actual messaging, let alone actually meeting up with some of them on nights out, which obviously is a terrible thing to do. But it does make the story of the night out a lot more hilarious so I would probably recommend it. Just don't expect to hear from them again. Ever. Especially when you've performed a full dance routine to the Saturdays. But that's me. I actually do love Tinder, purely for the fact that it's hilarious as about 90% of the people on there have been skiing or got a selfie with a tiger. Go them. I only ever message people when I'm drunk/hungover, which is probably where my problems lie. And then I end up having them on snapchat so they're bombarded with my snapchat stories of me miming to Adele, but we'll get to that later. To be fair, there's been a few nice ones who are sound people, but there's more chance of Tom Daley finding me attractive. Tinder hasn't brought me any good luck yet, so maybe I should give it up and have a break from it. And you do get your fair share of psycho bitches, creeps and people so odd they've probably killed someone. However if I gave it up, I wouldn't have anything to do with my life when I'm in the Raz at 4am and everyone I'm with is getting off with people. Like last week. Or the week before. Or probably the week before that. And where would be the fun in texting someone who actually replies to my texts. Or liking someone who actually likes me back. So let's stick to Tinder, because otherwise I've got nothing to bitch about with my best friend, and no one to wish ebola one. 

2) Gossiping
Gossiping about life/things/people/place is a loved hobby of mine. I went to an all girls school, bitching and gossip was like currency, and that's never left me. I would never gossip about anything personal, like someone's looks or their clothes or their family, because that's actually horrible. I just mean if someone's a bitch or has been annoying, or has committed a scandalous act, then I probably will gossip about it because I hate being quiet in my life and love a good conversation. Unless I'm shy when I'm sober in a new place. And I won't gossip if you've told me a secret, even I have my limits. Most people wouldn't admit to gossiping, and if anyone claims they don't bitch about people, it's a lie. I should probably give this one up, it makes me sound like a terrible person. However, I can't. Because that would mean I'd have to talk about the weather, or current affairs, or politics and I just don't need that shit in my life. 

3) Any & All Alcohol
I'm sure a few people would suggest I give up alcohol. Most of my anecdotes, statuses, tweets and snapchats involve the word wine. It's obviously not good for me, or my dignity. Although I don't actually have any dignity left. That went as soon as I discovered how fun it was to drunk text, and texted my entire phonebook saying I was gay. 2 years before I actually came out. But then I was extremely smashed when I actually came out, so there's a perfect argument about why people should drink, because I can honestly say that was the best thing I've ever done drunk. That and borrowing a homeless man's guitar to sing Adele on Bold Street. Cute. Currently I'm suffering from post graduation depression. Still. I miss being a student. I'm bored of working in a job that means nothing to me, and having to be grateful for it as it means I don't have to be on the dole anymore. I hate the fact I never socialise on weeknights anymore because everyone is busy. So that one night out a week when it's just as much fun as it has been for the past 3 years is my favourite. Maybe I should grow up. Or maybe I should just enjoy it and have a ball because I'm only 21 and I've got the rest of my life to sit inside and not work a smoking area like it's my own private networking event. I'm not saying you need alcohol for a good time, but it definitely helps. So I won't be giving that one up. 

4) Girlbands
Girlbands are the one of the reasons I am thankful that ears exist and I can actually hear things. And people always tell me that these are guilty pleasures and I should be more cultural. But no. Because a life without Girls Aloud, The Saturdays and Little Mix isn't worth thinking about. I don't care that this isn't considered "cool music". I care more about the fact that I've never been to Estonia, which is, by the way, a country I've got no intention of visiting ever. No offence Estonians. One of my dreams in life is to be in a girlband. Another related dream is to form a Scouting For Girls tribute act. And yet another related but by far the best dream, is to form an acoustic covers band to cover all the 00s classics like Anastacia, Akon and NDubz. But as I can't sing these are just dreams. apart from the last one which is definitely happening. Small request, if you're reading this and you're in a band, then please incorporate just one 00s classic into your set and I'll totally come and see you live and plug you on this blog. Deal? Deal. 

5) Checked Shirts
I will never have enough checked shirts. They complete me. I would do an endless amount of unthinkable things to own every single checked shirt in the entire world. I would. I'm not proud of this fact but desperate times call for desperate measures. They make me look hella gay, and hella adorable, and hella suave. So for that reason, they will never leave mt side. 

6) Snapchat
It's safe to say, if you don't have me on Snapchat, then you're missing out. If you like drunken selfies of me pouting in various toilets in Liverpool, hungover photos of me wanting sympathy, or 50 videos a day of me miming to a whole range of hits spanning various decades, then I'm your gal. I spend far too much time choosing songs to mime too, and far too much time perfecting a suave fringe for the selfies, and it's really worth it when not a single person tells me how funny or beautiful I look so is it worth it? Totally. I find myself hilarious so that's all that matters. And plus when i actually get told my snapchat videos are funny then it's all more than worth it. I'm planning to save them all and make a feature film out of it. But everytime I save a lot up I end up getting that phone stolen so maybe that's fate telling me not to bother. And I'm pretty sure at least one person has deleted me off Snapchat because they find me annoying. However that delete button is there for a reason, so I actively invite anyone who finds my videos boring and annoying to delete me, because I don't need that negativity in my life. And if this all sounds utterly enticing and you can't believe someone this charming and hilarious exists, then feel free to add my snapchat: beccafadden. But if you send me a photo of a penis then I will instantly block you and give your snapchat name to someone who I don't like and let them suffer instead. 

So in conclusion, I won't be giving up anything for Lent. Mainly because I have zero willpower, but also because I'm 21 and I'm a big believer of just living life for fun so effort with restraining myself with pointless bans. Plus I'm way too sassy for this shit. 

Thank you to anyone who has read this blog, and any previous posts. I can't believe people are actually mildly interested in what I have to say. Please get in touch via my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/fatfunnyfabulous with any feedback, comments, adoring messages or suggestions for future posts. And if you want to make my life complete, then please feel free to share this post with anyone and everyone!

Also if you're actually in a band and want to cover some classic 00's songs then please don't hesitate to contact me as I have a fantastic proposal for you. Hint: it's not marriage. Probably. 

Stay Sassy xo

An Eternally Single Girl's Guide to Valentine's Day

As Valentine's Day is coming up on Saturday, I decided what better way to celebrate it than with a themed blog post! A massive thank you to Tina Parry for this suggestion, and here's hoping I do it justice. No pressure. At all.

Essentially Valentine's Day is a load of shit. It's pointless. If you need a day for your other half to prove how much they love you, then your relationship is clearly dying. You may as well get yourself on Tinder now. I'm obviously single and I obviously don't have a Valentine. Unless Lucy Spraggan plans to ask me out in the next 48 hours. But that's not why I hate it. In fact, I don't even properly hate it, as it's a perfect excuse for a big night out and a weekend drinking wine with "the girls". But I'll come to that later. For me, it's just a day. I wouldn't notice it existed if it wasn't for everyone around me saying when it was and how it exists. I care more about the economic climate in Latvia. Which I really don't care about - no offence to Latvia. However a lot of people care about February the 14th. And a lot of people have strong opinions on it. So I've done my research, meaning I've done nothing at all, and I've found that there's 6 main groups of people on Valentine's Day. And here they are:


1) "I love my bae and he bought be 250 roses so here's 21 instagrams of it"
Oh god, here we go. These are both my least and most favourite people on social media. They're annoying as hell but I get so much joy taking the piss out of them that it almost seems worth it. I don't think one sane person has ever seen a status about someone's "boy/bae/one/soulmate/girl" and thought it was cute. And if they have, it's only because they put up one about 30 minutes earlier. These kind of people enjoy posting regular updates about their relationship, about how happy they are, and all the dates they go on. They love nothing more than a filtered photo of a meal or cocktail they've just bought together, and they use all the emojis with hearts in far too often. We all know the type. As you're reading this you've got the name of someone in your head. And if you haven't? Then it's probably you. I only excuse this behaviour if there's an engagement, marriage or baby, in which case, may you get all the likes as you can. Or if you want to air your filthy relationship laundry about cheaters or have public arguments - please never let me stop you doing that, that's my favourite. For the happier ones, on Valentine's Day, this group come out in force. From the minute you wake up, to the minute you go to sleep, there is a constant stream of messages for their other half, photos of the gifts they got (at least one person will get a giant personalised cookie I guarantee), they even tag themselves into wherever they've booked themselves to go to 'celebrate', most usually a meal in a fancy restaurant or a trip to the cinema. Because they're always original. And tagging themselves is especially useful as it tells you what areas to avoid that night to avoid a horrendously boring conversation with them about their day - so it's not all bad. 

2) "The person I'm dating is quite nice so I'm going to be cute and quietly celebrate it"
This is the type of couple all couples should aspire to be. By all means get each other a gift, or go for a meal, or sit in silence at home, just don't tell us about it. Which is why these people are perfect. They do their own thing, and don't inflict the boring stories on anyone else. Learn from these group number 1. 

3) "I'm going on a first date on Valentine's Day"
For heaven's sake, never do this. First dates are normally dreadfully awkward until someone's had a few drinks so don't punish yourself by doing it on such a 'romantic' night. I personally hate the concept of a first date. I think I've watched too many dating programmes like Take Me Out, The Undateables, and First Dates so I've witnessed too many car crash dates. If there was a way to skip an awkward first date and move to the second I happily would. But then again, I've only been on one sort of date, and the success in that story lies in the fact I'm still single. If there's one piece of advice I can give you today, it's if you're that desperate to go on a first date, make it the week after instead. There's no rush. You probably found them on Tinder or Plenty Of Fish anyway, so they'll be happy to wait, they've got nothing else to do. 

4) "Is it Valentine's Day?"
These are the couples who've been together for ages and ages and forget this day exists. These are the true relationship goals. 

5) "I'm single on Valentine's Day so my whole world is ruined and I'm just going to tweet about my loneliness all day"
There's two types of single people on this earth: happy ones and miserable ones. The miserable ones hate being single, are generally desperate for a relationship and Valentine's Day is their time to shine in their misery. They think it's the end of the world that they haven't got a Valentine, or that they won't receive a card or won't get a romantic meal. Get a fucking grip. They won't be reading this as they're too busy swiping every single person in the hope they can sort a quick date by Saturday. In my opinion, if this is the way you think, then your life is clearly bleak in other departments. Get a better hobby, get some better mates, find a better alcohol to drink that makes you want to have fun, just do something else instead of being miserable. If I had a friend like this, I'd probably avoid them in every situation as I can't deal with negativity. Unless it's my own negativity and in that case I want everyone to listen to it because I am a massive drama queen. Seriously though, if you know someone like this, take them on a good night out please. Buy them a jager, find a club that plays the Spice Girls, and make them have a good time without searching for someone to have a club neck with. And if you're the type of person who likes to go out only so they can search for a new club neck, remember that you're probably out with a friend who's had to go and sit in the smoking area and ring one of your other friends for company as you've been shit. All valuable life lessons for you. 

6) "I'm single, I don't give a fuck about Valentine's Day so let's have a wine or 20"
And finally we come to the best group. Which is obviously the one I'm in. No bias at all. The ones who are single and happy about it. I love being single. There's no relationship dramas, I can get drunk and act like an idiot with no one complaining (kind of), I can see all my friends all the time I want, I can look as unattractive as I want, and I get to spend a lot of spare time with my one true love: Netflix. I'm currently watching the whole of Grey's Anatomy again and I wouldn't swap that for anyone. But with Valentine's Day, comes Galentine's Day (thanks to Parks and Rec for that handy phrase). A day, or weekend in this year's case, to spend contemplating just how sassy you are without a boy/girlfriend. It's a known fact that most people lose 40% at least of their existing sassiness when they enter into a relationship. This way we get to keep that sass, and appreciate our other sassy friends at the same time. I celebrate Galentine's the same way each year. The 13th consists of going on a big night out with my best friend and anyone who wants to be sassy enough to join. Last year we went to the Lord Mayor's Ball. This year it's a much less classy affair in Manchester, but I'll find a new mayor I'm sure. Then it's followed the day after by a night of wine, pizza, sassy films with independent women, more wine, maybe some karaoke, and then a bit more wine. Essentially this is how I spend every weekend, it's just this time it's got a title. 

And there we have it, an exploration into the many different types of Valentines and how they will spend their days. So I suppose I should say, Happy Valentine's Day!

Again, if you've reached the end of this blog, then thank you so much. Please feel free to comment and share this post as the more views, the happier I am and the more I want to blog. 
Also if you've not noticed, I've recently set up a Facebook page for the blog, where you can follow all the latest posts, developments and help me with future posts and I would LOVE it if you would like it. 
The link is here: https://www.facebook.com/fatfunnyfabulous and if you want to share it on Facebook or any social media site then please don't let me stop you!
Thank you again :)

Stay Sassy xo