What To Do When You've Got Nothing To Do

So I'm 21 which definitely isn't old, but it can be an awkward segway age. At 21 you're stuck with friends all on different levels of the maturity path. You may have just finished uni and be lost on a path to nowhere wishing you were back napping and drinking cartoned wine in halls (guess who?), or maybe you've got all your shit together and so are probably secretly hated by your more fun friends. Or maybe you're somewhere beautifully in between. Me? I'm definitely at the bottom of that maturity ladder. I'm clearly 18 at heart. I want to spend ALL my time socialising, drinking, napping, drinking, going out, drinking and maybe the occasional Netflix hangover session. I hate staying in. I can't handle sitting in with my parents watching Midsomer Murders, I'd rather neck David Cameron. Twice. I'm very much still a student, just without pretending I'm going the library as now I've actually got a degree. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some people have tried to make me feel like I should "grow up" and be responsible, but I'm 21 with no massive pressures on me at this moment in time so why not just enjoy life! And for me enjoying it involves a drunken night once a week. Which is more than fine, I accept I'm probably immature. But a lot of my friends aren't. A lot have matured. Which is great for them, but for me? It means I've sometimes got to work doubly hard to arrange a night out, or a casual pub trip as they've all got actual things happening in their life (I don't know why I never have anything happening in mine), or learn how to enjoy my own company without constantly snapchatting myself lip synching to songs. So I thought I'd create a really unhelpful list of things you can do when you find yourself in a situation which causes you to contemplate Tinder as a night time activity (don't do it kids).

1) Go Out Anyway
This is my favourite. Why let a low attendance of friends stop you having a good night? Make the most of your life and go out anyway. If you're lucky you've probably got that one friend who you know will be game, and chances are you can persuade a third person to come out so that you can all go the toilet individually without leaving a a person dancing alone. I've done the maths, it's my life's work. And if you don't get that third person? That's fine. That's why alcohol was invited. You just befriend some new sassy people when you're out. This is my other life's work. I love some smoking area friends more than I love some members of my family, and would happily see them on a sober level if I didn't think I'd sound creepy telling them this and then texting them like a desperate stalker. And for the fact that they won't remember I exist the next day. I've reached a perfect point in life where the chances are I'll probably know someone in the Raz on a Friday night after about 3am. I know - I'm living the dream. Chances also are some people probably see me arrive and avoid me for the rest of the night - that's fine too. Sometimes a small night is better. I love going to G-A-Y in Manchester and normally there's only ever 3 of us, and we just find a bunch of loners and misfits inside to join us and have the greatest nights ever. So never let the fact that most of your friends want to stay in ever stop you. And if this ever happens on a Friday and I even just vaguely know you, I will happily invite you out with us (I mean I'm not psychic, you'd have to tell me). Unless you want to go to Heebies. No no.  

2) Be A Stalker
Sometimes going out is definitely not an option. So you could be the opposite of sociable and just stalk people on social media. Anyone who says they don't stalk people on social media have probably stalked you so they're lying. It's a great activity, you don't know someone till you've seen all their tagged photos from the past year. If a night gets really boring you could even stalk yourself. I won't lie, I've googled myself. And I learnt that if someone ever wants to social media stalk me then my life is a massive open book and I've given them the easiest job ever. Just be careful. We don't want any accidental likes or retweets because then you have to cancel it and that's awkward for all people involved. 

3) Netflix could be an option...
By could be, I mean always. If you're faced with having a night in totally alone, stick on Netflix, find yourselves a television series that has probably been overhyped and watch it and pretend you like it to sound cool. You know the ones. I've been known to pretend to like Breaking Bad, Game Of Thrones and Pretty Little Liars all to mask the lie that I spend my entire time just watching Grey's Anatomy, Dance Moms and Drag Race. And maybe the L Word or Orange Is The New Black if I'm feeling extra gay. 

4) Snapchat
I won't lie, I'm the self pronounced queen of snapchat. If you don't have me on it, you're missing out. Unless you hate pretend music videos and photos of me pouting in every toilet in Liverpool, then I'm not your gal. On most nights I'm home alone I resort to constantly filming myself miming to a whole host of songs because someone once told me it was funny and now it's become my favourite hobby. Plus I can't sing at all so I feel like it's my one and only chance to be a popstar. So there's something to look forward to if you don't have me on snapchat yet, good luck with that journey. 

5) Take Up A Hobby
You also could get a hobby to get you through these lonely winter nights. I always say I'm going to take up a hobby but then I remember I've got the shortest attention span in the entire world so get bored too too easily. For example, I tried to learn the recorder today. I lasted 5 minutes at a push. Genuinely true story (I think I was still drunk from last night). 

6) Read? Or maybe not
Books are apparently a good thing. I used to love reading until I found YouTube and wine. Now a book is nothing but a forgotten memory. But if you start reading then it's probably something quite impressively intelligent to tell someone. I actually want to get back into reading as I feel like I used to be quite educated but then I studied media and now I can't remember what algebra is or the capital city of Norway. However if you're reading this and consistently make spelling and grammar mistakes then can I please insist you stop reading this and read a real book instead. There's only so much for this apostrophe confusion I can take. 

7) Ring Someone - Do people still do this?
If you're bored in alone because all your friends have excuses then chances are they're probably not going to want to hear from you as they're too busy being responsible adults cooking risotto and watching The Hotel Inspector. But you could give it a try. Everyone loves a trier. Unless you're a creepy man trying to get off with someone in a club. Then no one loves you. 

8) Start a Blog
That's what I did. Now if I'm bored I'll just post a blog post and then pray that at least one person reads it so I can pretend I've got a mate for the night. Until I realise it's my mum. 

If you've read this then thank you very much. Sorry it wasn't amazing, I'm struggling off 4 hours of sleep and too much alcohol as I tried to go out for a quiet drink on Paddy's Day and rolled in at 5am. Even I'm not surprised at this anymore. 
If you've found this even mildly amusing then please like my Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/fatfunnyfabulous or follow me on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/fatfunnybecca

And if you really liked it then please feel free to share it on any social media form and I'll probably want to marry you. Unless you're related to me. 

Stay Sassy xo