Why I Don't Mind Being Fat

I've always been overweight. Ever since I was an adorable child at school, merely learning pointless facts that I will never need to know again (volcanoes, I'm talking to you). And whilst obviously it's not good for you, it's made me the person I am today, and it's made me a better person than I think I would have been if I wasn't the way I am. Now this blog is by no means endorsing being overweight, we know all the health shit and I'm actually losing weight at this moment in time, but this post is going to explain how I've made the best of a what could have been bad situation. How it's helped me and how I'm proud of who I am. And if anyone reading this has any negative views on me being overweight, you can kindly fuck off because I literally couldn't care less. 

Also I'll be using the words fat and skinny. I don't mean any offence with this so try to get over it a bit. 

First and foremost, I definitely believe that being overweight has made me a funnier person. When I was younger, I couldn't rely on being an adorable and pretty girly girl, mostly because I was always covered in mud and constantly wore boy's clothes (I know, how people were shocked when I came out I will never know). And today, I can't reply on being a beautiful and stunning girl, because that's not how I'd describe myself to be. But because I was never that feminine or attractive I needed to have something going for me. And thankfully I'm fucking hilarious. I joke, but I making people laugh comes easily to me. Without trying. Probably the only thing that does. I think because I've never been particularly attractive or stereotypically beautiful, I've had to have something to fall back on. But this is why I'm grateful for being fat. I know enough boring skinny bitches to thank the lord for my plus size clothes. It's enabled me to develop into someone funnier and someone who has a care free attitude with being funny, and it's enabled me to lighten any situation, no matter who's died. That's a lie, never joke when someone's died. Learnt that the hard way. Whilst other girls, when they talk to boys or girls they don't know, it can be often about looking good and making a good physical impression, I don't care. I'd rather anyone call me hilarious than beautiful. Most people can make themselves look marginally attractive, but not everyone can be funny. I've spoken to enough cretins to know this. And definitely not anyone can be sassy. 

Strangely enough, being fat has also given me more confidence. Don't get me wrong, for 19 years of my life this wasn't the case. In school I had no confidence at all around new people or strangers. With my friends I was normal, but I was so shy in front of new people. I'd be scared to walk alone in the street because of abuse I'd get off complete strangers. I'd cross the road to avoid a gang of boys because I didn't want them to say something horrible or for me to be able to hear it. And then for some unknown reason I went to uni, and what seemed like very suddenly, I became confident. Most people I met instantly knew exactly what I was like, I never hid away, I was me and purely me. I went from not talking to any new people, to being the gal who held all the flat parties and would openly welcome anyone to them. I went from being so shy, to doing a student radio show and stand up comedy. I went from keeping myself to myself, to openly going up to complete strangers in smoking areas and introducing myself and having a chat, and I'm so grateful for this because it's allowed me to make some amazing friends. And whilst it would be easy to say alcohol had a part to play in it, it genuinely didn't. I'd been drunk before uni, and never once expressed an interest in meeting or socialising with new people. Admittedly I get a lot lot lot more drunk now, but it was a change in myself. It was a feeling of being comfortable and proud of who I was. I was happy being me. I still am. And I'm glad I found this confidence at this weight. Some people don't have that. They lose their weight to find it. I think it was a conscious decision to find it naturally. It gave me so much freedom and happiness. Knowing that if I'm talking to someone and they're laughing at my jokes and not running to the high hills, that it's because I've had the confidence to talk to them and they like my personality and probably admire my sass. The last bit was a joke. Sort of. 

Another thing I'm majorly happy about finding before losing weight is my sense of style. Now, I am not claiming at all that I've got a good fashion sense. I quite clearly haven't. But I've found what I like to wear and what I think looks good on me. Checked shirts. I love them. And I don't even care that I look hella gay and look like a stereotype. It's what makes me happy and that's all I care about. Plus looking like a stereotype surely has to help at some point in finding the only other lesbian in a straight bar. And it does help, once in a blue moon. What I'm saying though is, that I now know that I don't need to slim down to get myself a nice dress. When I lose weight, I'm still going to wear all the checked shirts. If anything I'm going to wear more of them because there's more on offer. And what a treat that will be. 

I think that a major concern of being overweight can be what other people say or think about you. I can't lie, this has probably been my main issue. And I'm still battling it, you can read more here: (http://fatfunnyandfabulous.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/just-keep-swimming.html) Thankfully I can proudly say people's comments don't affect me even a little bit as much as they used to. I used to go home and cry when someone would say something to me on the way home from school. But shit words builds thicker skin. And now I've got the thickest skin going and I know that anyone who has shit to say is an actual shithead. And I am way way way more fabulous than they can ever dream to be. And as for people's thoughts about the way I look. I don't care. I'm happy with who I am and if they're bothered by that then they're life is insignificant and it doesn't bother me. Do I worry that a girl won't find me attractive because I'm overweight? Not in the slightest. If they're put off by the fact I'm overweight then they're put off by me, it's part of me and it's made me who I am. Plus I know I can do better than a small minded person like that. And it means when someone actually does like me for me and isn't bothered by it, it just makes it better because it shows they're not arsed and they're a genuinely good all round, and most likely sassy, girl. 99% of the time (we're safe, the ones who aren't sassy definitely won't be reading this).  

So there you have it. I'm happy with who I am. I'm proud of who I am. I think sometimes I can look quite good in the right shirt. I think I can be hilarious. I, mostly, love who I am and I'm confident with that. Obviously it's not 100% because I'm a living, breathing woman in this media obsessed world but that's another blog for another day. I like who I've become, and I hope others do to. It's not what you weigh, but it's who you are and how you work it. And I think I can sometimes work it good, because I don't care. People like me for me, and not for how I look. They like me for my personality, and how I'm funny, and how I'm outgoing. And that is why I don't mind being fat. 

Thank you for reading this slightly deeper and more thoughtful post. I thought for once I'd prove my life isn't just about downing all the wine in sight. If you enjoyed it then please share it anywhere and everywhere. And if you want to get all the latest posts instantly then please like me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fatfunnyfabulous or follow me on Twitter: @fatfunnybecca https://twitter.com/fatfunnybecca. And please feel free to get in touch with any comments you have or any suggestions you have for future posts, it is literally my favourite thing to read!

Stay Sassy xoxo